Darkness or Brightness

23rd Oct, another start again... Did i really think through carefully? Did i make the right choice? Was the decision what i want?

I seem lost this year. Told myself not to start anew for the time being and was unable to step into any new r/s for the last few months.
被蛇咬难道还不怕蛇吗!!

Rested for 2 months... Short or Long? I believe it was short... Everything happen out of no where.

For 7 years, we had known each other but seem like we had only got to known each other only for a few months. Was that why things happen strangely again?

He wasn't good looking but he has the mature thinking in some ways and is considerate and caring. He has the criteria that i feel guys should have. And that was probably what attracted me in a way.

However this start still made me unsure. I intended to ask him give me somemore time but when i saw him i couldn't bear to say it out. Am i able to commit? I myself is unsure even. Fear that it might affect our friendship if anything was to go wrongs also pulled me back sometime.

If we will work out i do not know, i believe he do not know also. However time shall show the result.

Let thing take its natural course is the best way.

A guy can be extreme good to you however their heart is uncontrollable. Things and feeling might change any moment any second.

Tired / Happy Week

8th Oct - 14th Oct.....

A week that pass by in a blink of eyes... Had you tried sleeping less than 10 hours for 2 consecutive days?

It was a fierce and tough week. From Monday to Friday, i am busy with my work. Piles of work on my table, coaching and doing testing for the new system implementation. Reaching home at 12am and waking up for work again at 7am.

Finally friday reached. At last i can enjoy myself a bit after the week of work. Went KTV with Jeff and friends till 5am. Thought that i could had a nice rest and sleep. But surprise arrived 1 hour plus later after i fell asleep.

My dear little nephew chose to say hello to us on Hari Raya Puasa. We rush down to the hospital and waited for hours. Eventually he arrived at 10.11am.

The day was busy again. I got to accompany my mother to get the necessary items needed for the baby and for my sister confinement.

At last i manage to catch a nap in the noon. At around 7 i woke up and met Jimmy for dinner at Jalan Kayu.

We had smoked salmon and steak at Jerry a restuarant in Jalan Kayu. Wow .. the dinner was not cheap... $80 for 2 person.. Expensive!! But the smoked salmon was delicious!!... :)

We than went back my house to get car and fetch Zhen Xiong. Again we went KTV till 4am..

6am i woke up again to be chauffeur. Sent my brother in law to camp and accompany my mother to market.

This week was really tired but the joy we had from my dear nephew was wonderful.

Tiring Week ~ Countdown

In a blink of eyes, today is Friday already. For the whole week i seems to be fighting a battle. TIRED!!

I believe this is the first time i worked so many days till after 10pm in a week. For the last few days i had been reaching home after 11pm or 12am.. -_-
It was not because i went movie or dinner but because of work....

Clearing my pending backlogs, coaching Kendy on APS reviewing and performing UAT is my jobscope for the week.

After people tender their resignation, workload should be decreasing however to me is opposite. My table seems more messy and works seem taller than usual. Will i be able to clear and hand over before the last few days?

I am left with 14 working days in UOB. In a blink of eyes i had been in UOB for more than 3 years. I could not imagine what will happen on the last day of October. It will be the last day that i am still a UOB staff.

Sad? Sure i will...
Cry? I believe i will...
Miss the place? I believe i sure will especially my cosy working corner...
Miss the colleague in UOB? I will because i am not a cold hearted person...

I believe i will be getting more and more busy and tiring..

Stress, Tired, Headache

At this very moment, i suddenly feel very tired, stress and headache. Just had a chat with Daniel. As expected he trying his best to persuade me to stay. Telling me the pros and cons and plans he had for me.

I am really grateful to him for what he plans for me to learn and do.

I am really tired of making the decision myself. Althought i had the advice and guidance from friends. I am still uncertain and scare that i will make the wrong decision. I do not know if leaving is really the decision i had. I do not know if i hesitate just because of 不舍得 or what... This is something that i might go throught sooner or later.

I am feeling stress, tired and feeling like crying. I just wish that there is a shoulder or a hug from someone that can give me some comfort. At this moment i wish that i can lein against his chest, close my eyes and feel the comfort from him. But he is not around anymore neither is there anyone there for me to lein or 靠...

In a sudden i feel lonely although i know i am not coz my dearest brothers and sisters is around me..

你是否能再次出现然我靠? 我真的累了...

*Complicated Feeling*

1st Oct, i made the biggest decision and signed the letter of offer. This decision is a tedious and hard one to make.

I chose to enter a company which most people sought to join however there is sacrifice needed. The sacrifice was not small. It was a gamble i had to take. Whether it succeed or not i am not sure however i know i had to try it else no one will know what is the result.

On this day, I tendered my resignation letter to my beloved boss Daniel. At that very moment, i do not know what to say. I do not know if i was happy or sad. Suppose to laugh or cry? I really don't know. He is the person whom had groom me into what i am today and he taught me a lot. If it wasn't for him i believe i won't had soar so high to current position in my department and enabled me to contribute my best.

A good start is important to a person career and i am glad to know Daniel. He has really provided me opportunities for the great start. Under his tendering care i had learnt alot and gain quite a lot of experience. I cannot say i won't had prospect in UOB however i would wish to try and strike on my own. Leaving the cosy and comfort care from him.

Maybe this is a wrong choice that i had made but i know if i don't try now i won't know. He is right, i had spent 3 years building up my current position and status in UOB and now i was to change and rebuild again is a bit wasted. But there is not only me who is going through all this. This is a path which almost everyone will go through. Whether it will be a smooth or tedious path we will only know when we start to try.

After tendering my letter to him, we had a short chat. However we will have another chat again. I do not know how to face him neither repay him for his kindness and help and care. All i can do is thanks him from the bottom of my heart!...

I would pray that my decision is the right one and my career path will be smooth and wonderful.

Thanks my dear Daniel! ..