FRUSTRATION... PISS OFF..

It has been so long since I pen down my unhappiness and sorrow…

It has been 2 years 9 months since I joined my current job.

Moving from one familiar working environment to a completely different environment really needs a lot of courage. Plucked up my courage and moved to a new environment hoping to receive better job exposures and opportunity.

Everything is really not what I had expected and hope for. Being advised to voice out my views and wants but was known to everyone around me, it was useless.

When you had a unit manager whom always twist and turn her words, feel that everyone is not capable and only people whom she hired/chosen is the best. Is the most irritated and most frustrated issue.

Today Joanne had her last appraisal with supervisor and unit manager. The whole appraisal seems to be a pouring section to her. She voiced almost everything quite directly with no hesitation. Frustration came all out.

After listening to her appraisal section commotion, I feel so sian. I knew that to my supervisor and unit manager, they feel I am not performing what they expected. But to me I feel I am already doing my best and I dare to say my performance doesn’t lose to anyone in terms of overall performance.

However when your boss like you means like you when she does not have good impression on you whatever you do is just minor to them. To me is having a supervisor and unit manager whom only see the appearance and not knowing what actually is happening is a damn irritated thing.

What should I say during my upcoming appraisal and what should I do next.

Although I had started sourcing for other job opportunity elsewhere, I believe I need courage to move on again…

Right now I can only feel stress, unfairness, frustration and irritation in my current workplace..

Being the community welfare officer for my whole department / organization had to make sure everyone is being well taken care of. But I myself is not being taken care of..

Sad
Sian
Bored
Stress
Frustrated
Irritated
Unfairness
Piss off……

MOVING OUT

..it has been less than 2 weeks since Dear move back with his father.. and now he is informing me that he will be moving back with me..

i am happy he will be moving back with me.. however i am sad ... i wish that during our marriage it will be a grand and wonderful one with all parents feeling proud and happy..

But i suppose it will not happen.. he had somehow quarrel quite severly with his father to the point of disown.. hai~~..his father was there unwanting to work and waiting for money to drop from the sky..

With my full load of debt .. i am unable to afford to rent a unit together with him to start our life.. this made me most sad...

seems like we are both without a cover above us.. A couple waiting for our flat in the meanwhile having no place to stay.. Although i am staying with my bro-in-law and parents. Somehow this flat is going to be sold soon and yet to buy a new unit..

How i wish i could strike toto and everything will be settled.. clear all my debts, mum's debt, sis and bro-in-law's debt.. and get a unit big enough for all to stay 2gether..