SHOULD I JUST RUN AWAY FROM HERE...

I FEEL THAT THE WHOLE FAMILY IS RELYING ON ME... AS THE YOUNGEST I AM NOT ABLE TO THE LEAST WORRIED OR MOST FORTUNATE ONE..

I HAD TO BEAR EVERYTHING EVERY PROBLEM... BUT NO ONE UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL.. HOW SCARE AND FEAR I AM... AS AND WHEN I WILL BE HIDING ALONE SOBING AND TEARING...

IS THIS RETRIBUTION? WHAT HAD I DONE WRONG..

WHEN WILL I BE ABLE TO MAKE IT OUT...

THINGS IS BAD FOR ME THIS FEW YEARS ESPECIALLY.. SOMETIME I HOPE TIME CAN TURN BACK AND LET ME BE WHAT I AM DURING SECONDARY SCHOOL TIMES....

I MISS THOSE DAYS...

HAVING A GOOD BUT UNORDINARY FATHER.
A SCARIFICING YET BURDEN OR RATHER UNFORTUNATE MOTHER
A SISTER WHO IS NOT CONSIDERATE AND KNOWLEDGEABLE
ANOTHER SISTER WHO DO NOT KNOW HOW HANDLE DAILY LIFE AND FUTURE LIFE

WHO ELSE CAN I RELY ON IN MY FAMILY.... ??
WHO CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO???
WHO CAN SAVE/HELP ME??

Stress

I AM REALLY FEELING STRESS... I AM SCARE AND VERY SCARE...

WHO CAN GIVE ME $50K TO PAY THE OUTSIDE DEBT AND SLOWLY REPAY GRADITUTE DEBTS?

HEARING FROM AUNTIE SAY ABOUT ALL THE MONEY MUM BORROWED. I AM FEELING VERY SCARE AND STRESS.. I AM SHIVERING IN FEAR WITH TEARS IN MY EYES ...

WHEN CAN I EVER STRIKE TOTO OR BIG SWEEP LIKE THOSE LUCKY ONE AND CLEAR MY FAMILY DEBT

I REALLY DUNNOE HOW TO GO ON FACING THE FEAR ALONE.. STAYING WITH DEAR AND HAVING TO HIDE MY EMOTION IS REALLY MAKING ME TEDIOUS..

I FEEL TERRIBLE.. SOMETIME I WONDER WHY I AM UNABLE TO BE LIKE THOSE FORTUANTE AND WEALTHY FAMILY KIDS.. LIVE IN NO WORRIES AND FEAR.. YET I HAD TO ENDURE A UNUSUAL FAMILY WITH LOTS OF DEBTS..

BUT TO THE EYES OF MOST PEOPLE, I AM JUST LIKE ANY OTHER GIRL LIVING IN PEACFUL AND NORMAL LIFES.. BUT THE TRUTH IS NO..

I LIVE IN FEAR AND STRESS AND WORRIES...

A Waiting for the Sun

Life with Dear is happy sometime yet sometime vex..

Both of us is consider stubborn type, we have our own views and tend to be persistent on it. It is difficult to change our thinking and tend to go into arguments often. Or rather is consider disagreement.

However I know Dear is trying hard to find ways to enable my future be more better. But with my current debt burden, there is nothing much for me to help in achieveing the goals.

In the past i wish that i would be able to find a partners that is willing to go to the extreme for my family and me. But as time goes by, it has shown that i do not have the luck to enjoy the life of those born with silver spoon.

One person life is really predestined when born into this world.

I would wish nothing but that my future generation be able to enjoy the life that i aspire to have but unable to attain.

And also in my next life i wish i would be able to enjoy fame, glory & wealth.

Congratulation

Times fly and it has been 1year plus since we last contact. Went lunch with Ah doi on saturday & heard a shocking news.

He is getting marry next month March. Surprise? A bit.. Can anyone imagine being treated like a subsitute and now hearing the news that he is getting marry?

Finally after years of their relationship, they are finally settling down. The news is surprise to me however it does not really affect me much. Probably it is time that wash it away. Fading memories..

What i can do now is only to give my sincere greeting to them..

*Wish both of you a blessful wonderful marriage* Congratulation.